A few months ago I decided that I needed to start giving a few less damns. Don’t confuse that with not caring about people or things it has more to do with how much energy I am going to give people or situations. It includes me taking chances that might cause me to fall flat on my face, speaking out when nobody else does, wearing white after Labor Day, allowing my kids be free in a culture that doesn’t allow us to be and reserving my damns for moments when I really need to give them up. Life is short and pretty simple, Live!
Here is my 5 step guide to giving a few less damns.
1. Start saying No. Consent is a hot topic right now and while we are trying to hold people accountable for making sure that they understand what that means in the context of sexual behavior we also need to explore it outside of that context as well. If you don’t feel like going out, having sex, babysitting, working overtime simply say No and move on. You don’t own anyone anything at the end of the day. No is a complete sentence. I had to learn how to simply say no with no explanation. It will be hard at first because we were taught to be accommodating and put others feelings first, but practice makes perfect.
2. Find something to be passionate about. The moment you find something that craves your attention that you love doing is the moment you are freed of giving any damns about what the next person is doing. You won’t notice much less care that homegirl is going “Live” to walk to the grocery store or show off some mundane uninspired task or that lil miss has posted her fifth selfie for the day or that your boy is low key throwing subs at you because you are too busy to notice. Get busy living and loving life.
3. Allow yourself more time. If you wake up a few minutes earlier, iron your clothes the night before, or leave for your destination ahead of time it will reduce your stress and cut down on the damns you offer up. While its not a foolproof tactic if you have more time to get to your destination, finish a project or go pick something up you don’t have to curse everyone out that cuts you off, yell at the kids for moving like snails, trip down the steps running for the train or sigh when someone in line ahead of you wants a price check because it should be $2.89 vs $2.91. You now have time for that.
4. Stop feeling entitled. The moment you stop thinking folks or life owes you something it is a lot easier to give less damns. Nobody promised things would always be easy or people always nice, so why do we let it take us out of character or raise our pressure? Think about the things we let ruin our day like the weather, tourists panhandling on the train, long lines, missing a sale, someone not speaking, and the list goes on. Move on!
5. When all else fails hang out with a toddler and see how its done. They will laugh at you to your face, go outside with mismatch clothes, eat cookies for breakfast, act as though they’ve heard nothing you said, splash dirty water on beautiful cloths and make a best friends out of the most troublesome person in the park. They accomplish all of these amazing feats without batting an eye or giving any damns about your feelings. They live!
Cover photo credit Shutterstock
